Break down the language barriers

Kelli Rodda

I recently attended the Next Level conference in New Orleans, hosted by AmericanHort. One of the speakers, Sherene McHenry, presented a topic not often covered in a business setting. She taught us about love languages.

Don’t assume this is a piece about a relationship with your significant other and turn the page. Give me a chance.

She’s referring to Dr. Gary Chapman’s five love languages (www.5lovelanguages.com). He identifies them as affirmation, touch, gifts, service and time. McHenry, who was a student of Chapman’s, explained how we can use these languages with employees and customers.

“One of the deepest human needs is to feel valued and appreciated,” she explained to our group. “Relationships deteriorate when people do not feel valued and appreciated.”

But when people receive feedback in a “language” they understand, they feel appreciated and motivated, which creates a dynamic workplace.
 

The languages in a nutshell

Affirmation. People with this language feel valued and motivated when they receive compliments, statements of appreciation and words of encouragement. Put it into action with a sticky note on their desk that reads “great job” or tell them in person.

Quality time. These folks feel valued and motivated when they receive undivided, focused attention, quality conversation and shared activities. McHenry said sometimes all it takes is to put down your phone or look up from your computer and give them five minutes or your undivided attention. Go to lunch with them. Talk about things that are important. A terse “hello” and “get this done” is not the idea with this group.

Gifts. This language doesn’t mean you need to shower someone with an expensive gift. The people that fall into this category feel valued when given gifts that show the giver appreciates what they’ve done, or knows them well enough to know what they like. A thank-you card, a birthday card, a certificate of appreciation or a cup of their favorite beverage will thrill this group.

Service. People who speak the service language feel valued and motivated when others see what needs to be done and do it without having to be asked. As a manager, the best thing you can do for this group is do what you say you’re going to do, McHenry said. Help with a project or need, and extend help in a cheerful way.

Physical touch. This group feels valued and motivated when they receive meaningful physical contact that they enjoy (emphasis on “they”). You need to observe this group closely to figure it out. But it could be a fist bump, a hand shake or a pat on the back.

Again, observation is key to making this work in your business.

“The happiest most loyal people – whether it’s customers, employees, co-workers, spouses or children – are given love and appreciation in their primary language and recognize the languages of those around them,” she said.

On the final day of Next Level, we were sharing our takeaways of the conference. I was pleasantly surprised to hear how many people (male and female) planned to identify the languages used by their employees and, in turn, speak to them in their language.

P.S. If you didn’t attend this year’s Next Level conference, make plans to attend next year. Watch the AmericanHort site for details (www.americanhort.org).